ell, the concept’s not entirely a bad one: to soundtrack ABC’s smash hit dramedy, a bunch of female singers were recruited to sing songs about women, many of them pertinent covers. It’s the execution, the dreadful, dreadful execution, that’s the problem. First of all, including snippets of dialogue from the women of Wisteria Lane is a good idea. But would it have been so hard to choose some more pertinent dialogue? Hearing Eva Longoria as Gabrielle intoning, “I’ve tried poor-but-happy. Guess what? Wasn’t that happy!” is fine, but has nothing whatsoever to do with what surrounds it on the album. Lynette (newly crowned Emmy winner Felicity Huffman) talking about her addiction to her kids’ ADD medication certainly makes sense preceding a cover of the Stones’ “Mother’s Little Helper,” but it’s blatantly lazy. Did no serious thought or effort go into the making of this album?

Of the 13 songs here (plus Danny Elfman’s theme), seven are originals, the other six covers. If forced to pick a side, I’d say the originals fare the worst. SheDaisy’s “God Bless the American Housewife” is a series of empty stereotypical boasts of housewives (“Look at how my diamonds seem to sparkle on the garbage can” is just one idiotic line) sung poorly and arranged no better (the song was co-written by Jann “Insensitive” Arden), while Shania Twain’s “Shoes” is a rare dud from the crossover queen, engaging in a myriad of painful shoes-as-men comparisons. On “We’re Running Out of Time,” a generic ballad, the best to be said for LeAnn Rimes is that she sounds awfully professional (strong voice, worthless song). Tunesmith Diane Warren apparently got the assignment to write a Joss Stone song, because “Treat Me Right” sounds like the ultimate assembly-line Joss Stone song, atop which Joss does what she does (and does with increasing boredom).

The covers aren’t much better, though. This year’s why-does-she-have-a-record-deal? rookie, Anna Nalick, sleepwalks her lame ass through “Band of Gold,” which might still be better than the embarrassment of Liz Phair’s take on “Mother’s Little Helper.” Really, Liz, just shoot yourself and put us out of your misery, because watching your artistic swoon is the epitome of pathetic. The Indigo Girls acquit themselves alright on “Mrs. Robinson,” but Gloria Estefan’s limp reading of the Candi Staton disco classic “Young Hearts Run Free” begs the question “Why?” Of the two country covers, Sara Evans is missing Loretta Lynn’s grit but has the attitude right for “One’s On the Way,” whereas Martina McBride’s missing the sass of Jeannie C. Reilly on a bland “Harper Valley P.T.A.”

The album closes with its worst and best songs. Tony winner Idina Menzel, soon to be seen in the film version of Rent, slash-and-burns her way through the awful pseudo-blooze-rock of “Damsel In Distress,” clearing the palette (as it were) for k.d. lang’s “Dream of the Everyday Housewife,” a gauzy dream in soft focus reminiscent of the classics of lang’s supper-club years (think the peaks of Ingénue). Hopefully, lang’s contribution can be legally downloaded, as it’s the only song from this misguided, misdirected disaster of a collection you ever really need to hear.