Ill-fated romances are the steroids of the music world. Divorces, splits, and affairs have given birth to some of the greatest songs ever written and certainly some of the most lucrative (ahem, Fall Out Boy). The subject is all-too-common. Thus it seems odd that there is no event as punishingly isolating as a nasty breakup. The world dulls, the days drag, and it feels like E. Honda hundred hand slapped your heart.

There seems to be a special kind of pain reserved for long distance breakups. The separation often won’t allow for a screaming match or a blow-up; more frequently there’s just a gradual erosion of trust and communication that transforms a once-loving relationship into an emotional sore. For all the work and sacrifice, you’re left with nothing but a feeling of defeat and a propensity for ordering quadruple whiskey cokes.

ALL’s “Long Distance,” off their 1995 album Pummel, seems to address all the complexities of that unique romantic Chernobyl with the delicateness and ease you’d want from a pop punk band in your time of need. Admittedly, ALL has made a career out of minor scales and the sort of sappy lyrics that make even the smallest crush seem monumental, but let’s not hold grudges. It’s hard to doubt vocalist Chad Price’s sincerity as his gauzy voice sings the eloquently simple “I just called to say goodbye,” and maybe this time he deserves to be taken seriously.

The band matches the near-melodramatic lyrics with aggressive cymbal work and an uncommonly thick distortion that adds a sense of frustration to the oh-so-palpable despair. Guitarist Stephen Egerton shakes the chorus with of ringing power chords and a dissonant progression. The combination sounds so natural that it may not be noticeable at first. As a whole, it sounds as if we’ve run into ALL at a neighborhood bar as they sit in the corner, lamenting their fresh breakup with equally hefty servings of depression and disbelief. They are, along with their beer, on the way down.

Four years later, we find “Long Distance” stripped of its intensity and transformed from a pop punk song into a folksy tale of a love that could not be saved. Ann Beretta revive the track on their acoustic The Other Side of the Coin, playing it with a single guitar and our-sadness-goes-to-eleven vocals. Power chords have been traded for intricate picking and the tempo, the only thing upbeat about the original, has been taken out back and shot. Where we once heard the urgency and tumultuousness of a man slowly realizing his romantic defeat, we now hear a crushingly isolated vocalist erect an aural monument to his loss.

Without any accompanying instruments and employing sparse harmonies, Ann Beretta rely on the song’s strengths: its melody and lyrics. It almost seems like a tribute to ALL’s effective songwriting. The frequent instrumental stoppages, presumably to allow guitarist and vocalist Rob Huddleston to reposition his fingers, give the listener the impression that this song was recorded in a single sitting within some ill-lit studio apartment. Whether the one-take recording was a by-product of artist inspiration or a strapped recording budget doesn’t really matter. It adds yet another layer of emotional depth to the already heavy track.

I recommend “Long Distance” because of its simplicity. True romantic distress never gets dressed up in intricate movements or technical musicianship. Its more raw elements deserve to be documented the way they appear and certainly these songs seem to appreciate that. So take a moment to reflect on your own love life and celebrate what I hope to be some relative emotional stability. Hopefully no one will waste your cell phone minutes to “just call to say goodbye.”

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