Everyone’s after saying the f-word nowadays. Children will laugh at you if you don’t. But in the modern media marketplace, the word’s become so widespread that it’s very hard to see it having any effect anymore. Bands go to ridiculous lengths to point out that yes, THEY ARE SWEARING. Hello, The Bravery (and, hopefully, goodbye). However, here’s three lesser-known examples of F in action that show that fuck can still reach the parts that shit can’t. (It is possible - indeed, probable - that there are better-known and more definitive examples of the f-word. However, being a student I am legally obliged to bore you to shit by making inaccurately bold statements about my record collection, so nerr.)

Holly Golightly– Eye For An Empty Heart, [The Main Attraction]

Here, Ms Golightly employs the ideal strategy, that being holding on for as long as possible, then whipping it out at the precise moment that you wouldn’t expect. The song creaks and jangles along, slightly drunkenly, not an eff in sight – in fact, the F-word is probably the last thing on your mind. You wouldn’t have any reason to think it would be coming. But then, out of absolutely nowhere… well, see for yourself. It’s very worthwhile. Just remember not to look for it. The element of surprise is all.

Do not also see: The Bravery’s new single, which mooches around so tediously that when they decide to try and shock you, you really don’t care anymore. Trendy electro-punks swearing. Wonders never cease, eh?

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Tystion– Wermod Lwyd, [Shrug Off The Complex]

Tystion, by way of contrast, use the F-word a lot. You’d think that would decrease the effect, but that is to reckon without one thing – Tystion are Welsh. And the Welsh for ‘fuck’ is ‘ffyc’. Double the F’s, double the weight, double the fun. Yes, it happens quite frequently in this song, but it never stops being enjoyable.

Also see: The Super Furry Animals’ ‘The Man Don’t Give A Fuck’. The lyrics are English, but the accents are Welsh. And there are very few things in the world quite as fun as that chorus.

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T.A.T.U.– Show Me Love, [200 KM/H In The Wrong Lane]

Have a listen. Then another. Spotted the deliberate mistake yet? Yep, any instance of the F-word has been completely edited out of this song (and it does occur, just the once). But it’s not me that’s messed up here, because ‘Show Me Love’ wasn’t a single. This isn’t a radio edit, this is how it sounds on the album. There’s also an ‘extended version’ later on the album, and it’s bleeped out there as well. A girl from Russia singing words in English that she most likely doesn’t understand, including expletives that are all deleted. So what were they doing there in the first place? The absence perhaps draws attention to them even more, makes you think about them and why they’re not there, perhaps making it the most effective of all means of swearing.

Also see: The radio edit of ‘Simon Says’ by Pharaohe Monch. You’re a radio editor, faced with the line “GET THA FUCK UP.” What do you do? You get your man to pretend he’s got a stammer. And then you keep digging.

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