Ok, so despite a similarity in the opening bars, here’s a substantially different version of “Shino” — a different , smoother vocal, a sharpened instrumental mix, a few new lyrics, and a new section: a coda. Is it there yet? I’m not sure — probably not. The vocal may still be a touch too mannered and structurally it’s still a bit misshapen.

A few interesting things to compare to the last version of this:

1. The vocal now has now been processed to a cold metallic sheen — I think it works, given the subject matter, almost as if it’s being sung behind bars.
2. The rhythm section now drops out in the section verse — the effect is much more dramatic.
3. The coda feels like it could use a solo or counter melody of some sort.

It’s still kind of a weird song — not the most tuneful thing in the world, but with the right balance, it has potential.

The writing process has been interesting thus far — I can’t say I ever would have predicted it would turn out this way. Having started as something of a late-70’s/early-80’s YMO/Kraftwerk homage, as I’ve worked to embed the vocal in the mix, the song has begun to acquire a more digital, glitchier, more modern sound. And I’m not sure how I feel about that yet.