Now let us discuss the impending debacle that is Snakes on a Plane. Has there ever been a more absurdly direct title for a film? Perhaps I Killed My Lesbian Wife, Hung Her on a Meat Hook, and Now I Have a Three-Picture Deal at Disney, but that’s already treading into satirical territory. No, Snakes on a Plane, at least from what I can ascertain from the trailer, which you can watch here (and I strongly urge you to since it’s quite beyond words), is exactly as the title paints it: snakes on a plane battling it out with Samuel L. Jackson.

Rumor has it that Mr. Jackson signed onto the project without reading the script as he was quite enthusiastic about the name alone, apparently not knowing films typically have working titles prior to filming that get altered as the project comes to fruitition. However, when the filmmakers attempted to alter this title to the more conventional and admittedly less brilliant Flight 121 (has there ever been a more drab title?) Jackson threatened to walk causing director Ronny Yu (Formula 51, Bride of Chucky) to depart from the project due to “creative differences.” This left the studio to replace him with thankless Hollywood trooper David R. Ellis (Cellular, Homeward Bound II: Lost in San Francisco). The cineaste in me wants to deride the film for exactly the same reasons the sadist in me wants to (and probably will) view it. Or would it be masochist? That depends on whether viewing a film like this destroys those who witness it or those who appear in it. Then again, it’s only conjecture at this point.